Unravelling to Rebuilding

I thought 2023 was a hard year, but 2024 said, "Hold my beer."

Last year, I started a new tradition: writing little notes each time something made me happy, proud, or thankful. I’ve just opened my 2024 jar, and let’s just say—it’s been a rollercoaster. But reading through those notes was a welcome reminder of the good moments in what turned out to be a challenging year, to put it mildly.

2024 came with its fair share of lessons, one of which shouldn’t have been a surprise: you’ve got to put your own oxygen mask on first.

This is something I remind clients of constantly when it comes to their lives and finances. But if I’m honest, it’s not something I’ve always practised myself. Looking back, I now see how much I prioritised others—often based on my perception of their needs—and how utterly exhausting that was.

2023 was my first year separated. By all accounts, I was doing well—navigating co-parenting, the loss of an elderly family member, running my business, and getting through life without someone who’d been there almost every day for nearly 20 years. At the time, I thought I was okay, but in hindsight, I was in survival mode.

My focus wasn’t on me—it was on my ex, my kids, and my work. Of course, I had hard days, but I now realise those hard days weren’t really about me; they were more knock on impacts of other people’s struggles.  

Then came 2024: year two. Naively, I thought it would be easier given how well I had "handled" year one. When the anniversary rolled around, I was not okay. My ex-husband was in a good place, the kids had settled into their new normal, and co-parenting was going smoothly….. And now it was my turn to unravel.

This year was harder than I ever imagined. But it was also the year I began doing the real work. I stopped rushing to outcomes and began unlearning old coping mechanisms. I started setting boundaries (badly I admit, but you’ve got to start somewhere) and accepting that it’s okay to be the villain in someone else’s story if it means protecting yourself.

For the first time, my health—mental and physical—became a priority. I stepped way out of my comfort zone, became more confident advocating for myself, and started trusting my intuition. I walked away from things that didn’t feel right. And perhaps the biggest shift of all—I asked for help.

As someone who’s spent over 20 years guiding people through life’s plot twists and helping them rebuild, these past two years have been the hardest yet most transformative of my life. I completely overestimated my ability to navigate it all on my own. But while it’s been messy, it’s also been empowering. I’m clearer than ever on my value, my passions, and my path. With my oxygen mask firmly in place, I’m ready to take on whatever this year has in store.

Now, 2025 is here. Year three, and I’ve never been more excited.